The episode opens with the girls talking about who deserves to be here and who doesn’t. FOr some reason, the correct spelling of Asuukaa in the subtitles cracks me up. They all think that their problems are real and that they are the smartest. No one likes Suzkaiden, at any rate. Except RealityPalez, who is trying to find more weak links to align himself with. My girlfriend comments that Suzkaiden looks terrible without makeup.

Thank god a woman made that statement first so I don’t have to. Meanwhile, KrystiPride, with no prodding from the producers whatsoever, discovers a message on the Playstation, which announces a challenge. The theme is Uncharted.

Egoraptor loves a good challenge. So there are two teams: AkileezMight, ninjanomyx, egoraptor, burnnibelheim and Suzkaiden are one team. RealityPalez, skyd1ddy, douchebag, KrystiPryde, and Kwajamonster are the other.

They go to put on camo outfits while burn and suzkaiden fake hug it out. I get the symbolism now, the camoflague hides the true feelings they have for each other. Didn’t think I could get it on my own. Also, RealityPalez, for some reason, fucks up his war paint, reversing the square and circle buttons. It might not sound like a big deal, but keep in mind that those four buttons are probably on every fucking wall of their loft.

The van arrives at a destination to a post-apocalyptic obstacle course. Or a paintball course. ninjanomyx says something that reminds me of Mo Chocolate from last season except that Mo Chocolate was entertaining and actually black. So, yes, the challenge is Uncharted, Golden Abyss, which releases in general, the same day as this episode is. The guest panelist is John Garvin, a man who made a really good portable Resistance game for the PSP, and who clearly doesn’t want to be here.

However, the Playstation Vita coming out in America is contingent on aw hell this joke isn’t working. Buy Uncharted Golden Abyss or whatever. So the course is an obstacle course, which also ends in a slingshot to shoot cantaloupes at targets. The prize is a visit with Nolan North. I hope he just leans over and whispers “Space” in their ear over and over.

They start, and ninja talks about how he is “Metal Gearing” the course, crawling on the ground and cutting up his knees and elbows and being the amazing badass that he is. You be the judge:

Eventually, Aklieez carries 3 full bags of cantaloupes as the rest of his team is just too tired. They make it, and ego and Suzkaiden hit targets. Burn can’t hit a target, and ego is coming back with more ammo. Eventually, all 5 hit, but burn looks like she took too long.

The other team starts now. They blaze through, but skyd1ddy has the same problem that burn had. Cantaloupes are just not firing very hard. Eventually, 4 targets down, but Krysti isn’t at the firing range, she’s returning from an ammo grab. Oh no, will they make it in time? Actuallly, yeah, she hits a target.

So who wins? The second team wins. So the first team wonders who will be eliminated, but no one person sticks out. Burn and suzkaiden’s fake alliance dissolves quickly, though.

Nolan North shows up now. I’m not even going to dignify what happens next because I’m not giving douchebag screen time. Fuck that guy. Eventually, he whips out some Vitas. Only three of them, though. Oh my god, I didn’t think I’d be shocked at this commercial product placement, but isn’t just blatant, this is superliminal, like the guy shouting at me to “JOIN THE NAVY”. This is complete garbage.

More talking about who’s going home. They want Suzkaiden to go home, so she won’t be going home. Trust me.

We begin the panel. burn and suzkaiden begin attacks on each other. egoraptor is questioned as to whether he was enough of a team player. All of a sudden, everyone is ganging up on suzkaiden, even people on the winning team.

Wait, egoraptor is going home? He has lost three challenges in a row, so he is out. BY GOD HE IS FREE. Oh well, back to his ridiculously successful animation career.

And we’re… wait, we’re not done? SWERVE! Burnnibelheim is going home. Suzkaiden survives.

Next week, Street Fighter x Tekken. The previews show them mashing like idiots and I hate this.

Just as a teaser, in a few weeks, I’m hoping to have something Tester-related as an exclusive here on Pixeldrip. No promises.

Everyone's trigger happy except for Glenn.

This episode is called “Triggerfinger” and boy howdy, is everyone trigger happy on The Walking Dead.

This episode had what I’ve been missing from the last few episodes: zombies.  Lots of zombies.  It was one of the goriest episodes to date, with the viewer getting a close-up of someone getting their face ripped off, a zombie willing to chew through windshield glass to get to Lori, and a walker attack of epic proportions.

Oh Walking Dead, how I’ve missed you.  Thank you for bringing zombies back into the story again.Bringing Herschel back from the bar turns into a shootout of epic proportions as Dave and Tony’s friends come looking for them.  Rick does the honest thing and say that they’re dead, asks them to leave, and gets answered with a round of gunfire.  Herschel steps up to the plate, nailing a few walkers of his own, and saving Glenn, who freezes when pinned by zombies.

Its okay, Glenn; it happens to the best of us (that’s what she said!).

One guy gets away, a host of others are dead, and in one poor kid has impaled himself trying to jump off the roof.  It was really nice to see that although Rick wants to prove he can be as cold and calloused as Shane is, at the end of the day he’s still a good guy.

I don’t know about you, but I think the end of the world needs good guys like Rick.  Shane seems to forget that although it is survival-of-the-fittest, there is the survival of our entire species to think about.  In Shane’s world there is now no one to hold him accountable.  He’s the perfect example of those with the entitlement mentality, and frighteningly enough he thinks he’s entitled to Rick’s family.

Shane: still a tool.

Shane finds Lori after she kicks some major walker butt and although dazed, manages to walk away from the car crash relatively unscathed.  It’s nice to see that in a pinch Lori is quick on her feet, and might just earn the “Most Creative Way to Dispatch a Walker” award by using a hubcap and a gearshift.  Shane does what he does best – lies – and lies to Lori, telling her that Rick and the others have returned in order to get her back to the farm.  And, because this guy has tact to spare, spills the beans to, oh, everyone, including Carl, that Lori is in the family way.

Lori finally confronts Shane about his behavior, even questioning what happened with Otis.  Shane is delusional enough to think that what he had with Lori was real, and says he still loves her and Carl.  She denies it, and can you blame her?  He’s the one who lied and told her Rick was dead.  The next morning when Rick, Herschel, and Glenn return with their walking wounded, Shane once again throws a fit.

Because tantrums solve everything!

Then my absolute most favorite moment of the episode happens, and I have to admit it was hard to top the zombies.  Herschel tells Shane to shut up.

About damn time!

Herschel - my new favorite character.

In the meantime Daryl proves to be quite unable to deal with his grief and has decided that the best way for him to handle this is to be a total douchebag to everyone who tries to talk to him.  Lines are being drawn, with Andrea and Shane (and possibly Daryl) on one side, and everyone else who isn’t crazy on the other.

In a private moment Lori tells Rick about her exchange with Shane, and communicates what happened in a way that Rick will finally grasp.  Rick has been trying to protect what’s his, and Shane thinks Lori, the baby, and even Carl, are his.

Blatant foreshadowing for the showdown that’s to come?  Absolutely.  But I have a feeling next week’s episode is going to be even more explosive than this one.

I can’t wait.

Saturday night is opening reception for the “Tentacle Love” show at Monkeyhouse Toys. J will be one of the artists exhibiting artwork. Monkeyhouse Toys is located at 2874 Rowena Avenue, Los Angeles, CA. Opening reception goes from 3pm to 6pm and the artwork will be on display from February 18 to March 11.

Sunday is the Los Angeles Zine Fest at The Last Bookstore. Celina will be in attendance selling and trading her catalog of zines. The Last Bookstore is located at the Spring Arts Tower on 453 South Spring Street, Los Angeles, CA. Thee event runs from 11am to 5pm.

Also on Sunday is Comic Book Sunday! at the Campfire Theater. Bring your comics, beer, and/or snacks. If you don’t have any of those, a $5 donation is always appreciated to keep things going. PixelDrip will once again have a pop up gallery on display. Campfire Theater is located at 1625 North Las Palmas Avenue, Los Angeles, CA. The event goes from 3pm to 6pm.

Also, David Jaffe, this week’s guest panelist, has certainly been in the news. There’s a video he did here for the Shoot my Truck promotion for Twisted Metal. The language he uses in this video sounds like it came out of a 14-year old’s head, as if it sounded cool. From what I year, the game also basically came out of a 14-year old’s head. This is fucking embarassing.

Let’s get started.

Previously on the Tester, the previous Tester things happened.

They walk back into the house, and egoraptor realizes he got a lucky break. He’s hoping he can rebound, and he thinks no one likes him. According to the confessionals of others, that is true.

Suzkaiden proposes an alliance with RealityPalez, who so far is the front runner to win this thing. Say what you will, but the Richard Hatch strategy in elimination-based reality games is tried and true. RealityPalez is already one step ahead, thinking of aligning with the weaker contestants, and then beating them when they are all alone, which is like, steps 2 through 4 of the Richard Hatch strategy. I am now a fan of his.

Also, the fuck is she still doing holding that fucking Sackboy. That reminds me of a time when the limited English capacity of Yoshinori Ono, the producer of Street Fighter, called him Suckboy. Usually no one corrects his grammar or spelling, but that time Sony kind of had to.

Meredith shows up and Ninjanomyx says more inane bullshit. This is guy is like the marshmallows in Lucky Charms, it’s fun for a bite but it makes to sick to fill up. Meredith says the next challenge is based on the longest running franchise in Playstation history, and I can’t wait for Battle Arena Toshinden. Actually it is Twisted Metal. Ninjanomyx and Burnnibelheim are random team captains for this challenge.

Goddammit editors, why do you keep throwing ninjanomyx at me, he is NOT ENTERTAINING. He picks RealityPalez. Burn picks J-Tight because she thinks he will do great at whatever he does LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL.

The final teams:

BurnNibelheim, J-Tight, KristiPryde, Asuukaa, egoraptor

Ninjanomyx, RealityPalez, akileezmight, SkyD1ddy, Kwajamonster,

Suzkaiden is left unpicked. The challenge is revealed as a boss battle in Twisted Metal which was as yet unreleased at this time. The losing team will get Suzkaiden, which is considered a disadvantage for as yet unknown reasons. RealityPalez and KristiPryde battle it out. The first person to defeat their respective boss wins. Kristi takes an early lead, but Reality catches up. He eventually wins.

Good lord, does she look embarassed. You can’t edit this shit in OR out in post. Anyway, the second phase of the challenge is soon to be revealed. They have to change into some clothes provided for them. The clothes are clown clothes.

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL. There’s so many pictures I could have taken, but let’s just go with this one. There is a moment when SuzKaiden asks/tells KristiPryde, “Please tell me you’re not a bitch.” Wondering how much of that line was “suggested” by the producers, and how much of it was organic. But this is actually interesting. So far on this season, there is more drama up to this point than there was last season. They arrive at the challenge location dressed in clown outfits, and they see barrels and what appear to be wagons.

The challenge is as follows: Assemble an Ice Cream truck out of cardboard. Then all the remaining team members have to climb inside, and use a rope to pull themselves across the finish line. Triangluar targets also have to be shot. Winning team gets the Sony surround sound headsets, and copies of Twisted Metal. Losing team is up for elimination. The racial tension continues as ninjanomyx says the Asian chick is good at sniping. This is totally not true, Asian people prefer to stealth and melee kill at close range.

The challenge begins. Both teams seem inept at the construction of the car. Suzkaiden is actually pretty good at building the car (racism), but all of a sudden, the bolts in the car don’t work, whereas SkyD1ddy takes his time, and gets the bolts correct. Suzkaiden busts out some rapid-fire Spanish which totally makes my girlfriend laugh (racism) And she falls behind. The other team has destroyed all three targets, and Suzkaiden never assembled the truck. Asuuka thinks she is going home and starts to cry, then thinks she needs to defend herself by throwing Suzkaiden under the unfinished bus. There is an argument between Suzkaiden and BurnNibelheim, who as captain is also eligible for elimination. Asuukaa, Suzkaiden, and BurnNibelheim are all likely to go out.

Elimination time. David Jaffe says they went too fast and built a crappy product. Asuukaa goes for the attack on Suzkaiden by saying she didn’t understand Spanish, and Jaffe shuts that line of argument down. Now they are being catty in front of the judges. Burn is now on the hot seat as to why she put Suzkaiden in the role of building the van. Jaffe thinks all three failed, but who failed the most? Suzkaiden finds out it’s not her. Asuukaa is the loser, and has to go home. Kind of shocking, I though Suzkaiden was going home.

End episode. Next week, Uncharted-themed challenge. NOLAN NORTH SHOWS UP AND MAYBE WILL ALL GO TO SPACE (He voiced Space Core, get it)

"Being a pompous ass all the time sure is hard work."

Welcome back to the land of walkers and lamebrains!

Let’s get to it, shall we?

Sorrow quickly evaporated when Herschel’s zombie wife tries to eat their daughter, Beth, and Andrea kills her with a scythe.  Best metaphor kill ever.

Shane then proves he has some brains left that aren’t too far gone and asks the question that we’ve all been asking since we learned that Sophia was in the barn.  How in the hell didn’t Herschel know Sophia was there amongst the walkers?  He responds by saying that Otis was the one who rounded up the walkers, and yet the girls were responsible for feeding the walkers.  Even in that dark barn I think a little girl would have stood out.

Herschel orders them off of his land after the barn massacre, and promptly loses his cool.  He packs up his wife’s things, and decides to make his situation that much better by turning back to drink.  So he takes off, and Maggie points the group to the town’s saloon, where he apparently used to pass the time.

‘Cause, you know, booze makes all things better.  To quote Peter Griffin, “Let’s go drink until we can’t feel feelings anymore!”

Herschel took Peter Griffin's advice.

Once again, Carl has become the adult of the group, and I’m blown away by what powerful statements the writers have given him in just a few sentences.  Carl makes the poignant comment that he was hoping he would have been the one to find Sophia and bring her back safe.  He also defends Rick to Lori, saying that if it was his choice, he would have done it, too.  He would have wanted to be the one that ended her life as a zombie.

Then we’re right back to MacGuffin central: Beth collapses at the sink and is now in a catatonic state, because, well, things just weren’t dramatic enough I guess.  Lori goes off after Rick and Glenn (who head to the town’s bar to bring back alcoholic Herschel), hits a walker, and flips the car.  I really hope this isn’t just a plot device to end her pregnancy, but I have a feeling that’s just what this is shaping up to be.

Oh, and Carol tears apart a Cherokee Rose bush, and when she wanders back to camp, Shane creepily washes her wounds.  That guys is just plain icky.

That’s true love, right there – I love you enough to end your suffering when I know you’re the walking dead.

I bet Hallmark doesn’t make that card.

Speaking of love, Glenn and Maggie start to talk about their future together.  It’s all at once hopeful and sad, romantic and practical, and the heart of what makes us human.  We are social creatures, and when we have someone to lean on, everything seems more bearable.  I love the discussion that Rick and Glenn have as their heading into town, when Glenn tells Rick that Maggie loves him and he doesn’t know what to do with it.  Ricks said, “It’s pretty obvious to everyone that Maggie loves you, and not just because you’re one of the last men standing, so what’s the problem?”

Love – it’s something we don’t get enough of these days, so enjoy it.  I think it’s a good motto to love by, even when Valentine’s Day isn’t right around the corner.  We don’t get enough of love these days, so enjoy it.  That’s whether or not we’re knee-deep in a zombie apocalypse or not.

I'll literally give you my heart.

Now enough with love, let’s get practical for a moment.  Am I the only one who is concerned that they buried some of the zombie bodies?  I don’t know about you, but I don’t want the chance of that disease getting into my food or drinking water.  Wanting to show respect is one thing and I understand that.  In a zombie apocalypse you should still be burning your dead.

Rick and Glenn find Herschel drunk as a skunk in the town’s only saloon, and then, after rushing to get him back to the farm, decide to pause for a minute to have a drink with him.

Your daughter’s feverish and catatonic, but okay; let’s knock back a few before we get in the car.  Maybe her fever is a sign that the zombie virus has mutated?

That drink gives enough time for Tony and Dave from Philadelphia to show up, two jackasses with ulterior motives.  These guys played creepy so well they got my hackles up, and I could see the way the conversation was going.

Fortunately so could Rick, seeing right through Dave’s supposed gesture to make nice by putting his gun on the bar.  Whenever anyone puts down a gun, and it’s still pointed at you, you should be concerned and be prepared to shoot to kill.

Rick has finally turned a corner and is finding the new moral ground that happens when the world ends.  You have to be prepared to save yourself if you want to survive, and Rick is now prepared to do what it takes, sans the crazy bull-in-a-China-shop way Shane does things.

Carl was right: real love is being willing to do what it takes to keep those you love alive, and to kill them when they’ve become undead.

Out of the mouth of babes.

"No, guys; just sit there. I'll take care of this."

The cast is in a van headed to The Tester house.

So the energy is exploding out of J-Tight, just like the child support he’ll be paying soon enough.

Krysti Pryde manages to open her mouth and say nothing.

Skyd1ddy is so hipster he makes this pose:

Then he runs out of the van like he has to poop.

Meredith is back, oh joy. Ninjanomyx says that “the shorties that came to this show” and trails off. I thought he was just TRYING to be black, but then he says that asians are that the top his list, so there you go.

Egoraptor lets out a mild shriek of nervousness at he is singled out as the winner of the fans’ voting. We are sorry we have condemned you.

It is then revealed that the winner gets a Production Assistant job at Sony Santa Monica. And a 2012 Ford Focus Titanium. Ninjanomyx for some reason calls it “Unisex”, and I now realize that all I have to do is just repeat what these people say because as fucked up as I might be, this is just world-ranked bullshit.

Tonight, two people will be eliminated after the first challenge. They’re doing the badge thing, where you have to turn in your badge if you are eliminated.

Now they have all the fun with the Vita and some Moves.

Yeah, that there’s some good Vita.

I’m just noticing that all of this incidental dialogue is clearly scripted. No one has EVER been excited about Playstation Network, even if this woman holds up a PSN shirt and shouts “PLAYSTATION NETWORK WOOOO”. You look like fucking idiots. The only way I would ever do this show is if I oversold everything like “SQUARE BUTTON OOOOH YEEAH GET THAT HOT ACTION SQUARE BUTTON”.

Burnnibelheim says that Suzkaiden is making an ass out of herself, and this isn’t the racial tension I was hoping for.

Now Kwajamonster is complaining and OH SHIT WE HAVE A RACE WAR YES YES YES. And then I unpause the video and Suzkaiden is playing up her Dominican heritage and oh god I hope they have a fight where they both speak their native languages nonsenically.

First challenge time. There is a box suspended over a chair. The old panelists are back. They are generic as fuck so we will skip them. Brent Gocke is there and he is bleached blonde and he speaks very haltingly, like he is reading from a script. Then it is Adrienne Curry, who wants to jam pheromones in your armpits. The guest panelist this time is Jon Lovitz’s rapist cousin.

I’m sure he has a real name, but that’s way funnier, and unfortunately for him, he does have that face. The first challenge is a job interview. They will sit in the chair, and here’s the gimmick: the box will be filled with cockroaches, and their head will go into the box. Madagascar hissing cockroaches. I just googled that, and the first thing that came up was “How to care for your Madagascar Hissing Cockroach.” I also found out that there was a challenge to eat 37 cockroaches in a minute, put on by Six Flags, which can prove difficult as their body contains a “mild neurotoxin”. Fantastic.

The winner gets a free PS Vita. Ashichan volunteers enthusiastically, accompanied by terrible foley effects post-editing. This is getting to be WWE backstage segment bad. Then she talks to her hand for a bit or something. As her head goes into the box, the cockroaches start hissing. By the way, there’s three kinds of hisses. When they’re disturbed, when they’re attracting females, and when they are fighting. This is actually interesting stuff.

This is what one of their heads looks like in the box full of bugs. Ashichan actually says they will make a nest out of her hair, proving this show is more lovingly racist than Wonder Showzen. I mean, with this, and the RACE WAR, and Ninjanomyx, this is going to actually be entertaining, and I am incredibly thankful for that.

These interviews are light fluff, basically “Let’s see if you can talk while bugs are in your face.”

I should mention that ninjanomyx mentions besides gaming, he collects YuGiOh cards. Adrienne Curry asks if he lives with his mom. Long pause. “Yes I do.” Thanks for coming, kid.

J-Tight is more scared than anyone, but he makes it through. He complains that they are biting him, which is odd as the Madagascar hissing cockroach DOES NOT BITE. Kwajamonster talks about farting quite a bit. This evolves into talking about girls pooping in front of their boyfriends. Brent makes this face:

Egoraptor is honest, saying that he is in it for the publicity and the prize packages. At any rate, so far, no one has tapped out to the bugs yet. And no one does. Egoraptor does exactly what I suggested above and oversells the reaction to RealityPalez’s, the last interviewee, return, so he instantly becomes my personal favorite. However, he is worried that his honest answer to the question is going to send his ass home.

And now we come to the eliminations.RealityPalez wins the challenge and is immune from elimination. And he wins a Vita. Rapist Jon Lovitz says that Egoraptor didn’t make a good first impression. Ashichan was unmemorable. Kwajamonster was told she didn’t have much of a filter. Ashichan is eliminated right away, and reality television’s streak of eliminating minority contestants early continues unabated. Egoraptor is eliminated, and the streak of my favorite contestants eliminated early continues. WAIT PSYCHE NO HE ISN’T. There ends up being only one elimination, and Egoraptor is going to sleep on the couch tonight.

Next week, David Jaffe, the guy who just quit his studio, will be guest panelist. We’re out for this week.

Things might seem a little slow here, but that’s mainly because we’re all super busy with various projects. J alone has been accepted into a number of galleries within these next couple of months. And I’m currently hard at work on secret project that I’ll be revealing once it’s closer to completion. That being said, this past Saturday was opening reception for the “Hell on Wheels” show at The Lofts Gallery in Lancaster. Make to drop by and check out their great collection of skateboard art, such as J’s Mickey D up above.

Of course, we also had our normal opening over at The Hive this past weekend and J made the drive from the Lancaster opening to join me in Downtown Los Angeles. One of the big purchases that night was J’s Super Emo Star Wars characters. He sold the bounty hunters and the complete four-piece set of Super Emo Luke Skywalkers. Mind you, these were all original pieces and not the print versions. We’ll have details on the availability of prints soon enough for those that are interested.

Another purchase that night was Megan Hutchison‘s “Stag Party” piece, which was bought along with several Super Emo Friends. Pretty fitting for The Hive’s Valentine-themed “Hard Love” show.

Fresh off of participating in January’s Global Game Jam, Sasha was also able to contribute a piece. Her Street Fighter II variant of Chun-Li sold last year, but she still had the Street Fighter Alpha version, which also sold on Saturday night. All in all, it was a great opening reception. Make sure to drop by The Hive this Thursday for Art Walk. We’re going to have some new pieces to replace the spots of the artwork that was bought this past weekend. Stay tuned for some more exciting announcements later this month. We’re all looking forward to a great year!

burnNibelheim – Has red hair. On her bio, her favorite video game is Bust A Groove. LIAR. YOU LIAR. YOU MAY NOT USE THAT GAME. Says she has been a gamer since 6, and she’s 22, which means that she started playing in 97, which means she is fucking terrible at Mega Man. She is a Gamestop manager, and has been for 7 years. Which means the job she had through high school is the job she had upon finishing college (ostensibly), which means that college was completely worthless for her. She wasted her parents’ money and she is a pathological liar, which means she won’t be responsible enough to get through the challenges. I predict she’ll make it halfway. 20-1 odds to win the whole thing.

akilleezmight – Guessing from this username that this is a guy who uses usernames like xXxJism420xXx(TTP), and Sony forced him to use only English letters. He’s been a reservist for 8 years, which actually will give him an advantage ordering blindfolded people through obstacle courses. He proceeds to blather until talking about some shit about female gamers which makes no sense but will probably serve to piss off the women on the cast. Still, 5-1 odds to win.

krystipryde – Former carnival worker, can breathe fire. Sleeve tats up the yin-yang. Poor poor typecasting. 13-1 to win. Very good chance that she is older than she says she is, you know what the carnival does to a human. Odds were originally 15-1, but I bumped her up due to her ability to excel at the dumb shit the cast will be doing this year.

ninjanomyx – At first I thought he was trying to be black, but he’s from the bronx. Says he likes Guilty Gear. Raps his shtick. Is a well-seasoned gamer, which he thinks will give him an advantage, but will be meaningless when you have to jump from box to box in a pit of sand in real life. 20-1 to win.

Ashichan – Born in Northern California, lives in LA. “I believe we all have a connection with the earth that we’ve forgotten. And, we have lost our mystical feelings and powers and now use technology instead.” Yup, you were born in NorCal. 15-1 to win. When she is eliminated, she will cry, and talk about how she just doesn’t understand how other people can take things for granted and blah blah blah blah

J-Tight – “I’m a Sci-Fi geek who plays close to 100 hours a week.” Which is on average 14 hours a day. You have no job and I hate you. 50-1. Wait, you have KIDS and you play 100 hours a week? 2000-1 and go fuck yourself. I really hope you get eliminated early so I don’t have to watch you on my television. It’s bad enough I’m going to be sitting through this show. If you talk about how hard your life is or something like that, I will replace all references to you on this show with something else so that no one will ever know what you look like.

Kwajamonster – Claims to have anger issues, but I think she is being cast into the role because so far no one else is yet. Going to be a victim of editing. Otherwise generic. 18-1. Really hoping that the inevitable showdown with some other woman will be suzkaiden, because RACE WAR.

Skyd1ddy – Looks like a hipster type, “Has ideas wants to show the world.” Doesn’t say afterwards, “But not going to spend the hard work to do any of it.” Also, fuck his hat. The first couple seconds of his bio are unintelligible. One of the first to be cut. 40-1.

Asuukaa – Too many vowels, kiddo. Plays on rollerderby team, so there is a chance she can cut a promo. Also works as a chemist. I know of a female pro wrestler who works as a chemist, so this could work. However, is under the impression that as a tester, she can reject a product. HA. 8-1.

egoraptor – I thought I recognized this name, so I did a search. This guy did Metal Gear Awesome? He’s a prolific animator? What the hell?! He’s only here to get his name out there, folks. He wouldn’t be the first. He’s better than this whole competition, and we all know it. 10-1 chance to win, and I hope he loses, it would be to his benefit. On the other hand, he gets the 8bit-Mickey slot by winning fans’ voting, so we are responsible for putting him in this gulag.

Suzkaiden – Illustrator and designer who loves fighting games. There’s a SF x Tekken challenge this year, I can’t wait to see you mash through it. However, she can cut a better promo than Asuukaa, but that could be the accent. Going to be edited to be the person who starts shit. 7-1.

RealityPalez – He who quoted “I think being a girl gamer, by default, makes you the most attractive.” I’m not even going to bother listening to anything else he says; he’s one mustache away from a sex offender. Second or third emilinated. 35-1 odds to win.

Saturday afternoon is opening reception for the “Hell on Wheels” show at the Lofts Gallery. J will be one of the many artists exhibiting work on a skateboard deck. In addition to the artwork, Pharmacy Boardshop will have a skate demo and screening of the documentary film Sierra Highway: A Skateboard Retrospective. The Lofts Gallery is located 661 West Lancaster Boulevard, Lancaster, CA. Opening reception is from 3pm to 9pm and the art will be on display from February 4 to February 25.

Later on Saturday is Game Night 8 at Giant Robot 2. The featured game will be Monaco, winner of the Best Independent Game award and the Excellence in Design award at the 2010 Independent Game Festival Awards. GR2 is located at 2062 Sawtelle Boulevard, Los Angeles, CA. The event runs from 7pm to 10pm.

Also on Saturday night is opening reception for the “Hard Love” and “Lullabies & Nightmares” shows at The Hive. “Hard Love” will feature Valentine’s themed artwork and “Lullabies & Nightmares” will feature a collection of 16 children book illustrators. Cover at the door is $8. The Hive is located at 729 South Spring Street, Los Angeles, CA. Opening reception is from 8pm to 12:30am. The artwork will be on display from February 4 to February 25.